Dual....:-)
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
