Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
