So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
