Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
