Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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