Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
We got so high we made milksteak
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
