I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
