the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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