i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sober January is a disaster.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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