But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
