I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
