Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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