No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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