porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
