I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
