i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
