Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
