butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
