So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
