i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
