woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
