Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
