All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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