You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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