btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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