just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
