I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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