should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
