she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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