come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
