Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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