This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
