if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
