last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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