Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
