i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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