found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
