6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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