One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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