Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
