before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
