I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
