Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I supernannyed him into submission
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