About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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