I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We had sex on a dog bed..
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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