I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
