last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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