why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
