You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
