god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
