I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dick very happy bro
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
