in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
