I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
