i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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